Merry Christmas!  Life at the Oliver house has been…well…uneventful and since we have nothing of signifigence to tell you about, we are opting to tell you the story of our long dead cat, Peppy L’Pew.

                Peppy was born a poor gray tabby in a depressed section of town.  He had the misfortune of being sprayed by a skunk and was left for dead in the Evansville, Downtown area.  It was a cold and snowy night when he wandered under our car outside of the Mainstreet Exit Bar.  When we were unable to scare the cat away by starting the car, we decided that if we could save just one cat’s life the world would be a better place.  Being drunk and not having a lot of common sense to start with, Jay, proceeded to crawl under the car in his navy blue, pinstripe suit and retrieved the feline.  We managed to get him home safely with the assumption that we could find a suitable farm home, with lots of children to love him.  We asked several farmers and the only response we got was that they already had too many cats of their own.  Their suggestions was to place him in a bag full of rocks, toss it into the Ohio, and decrease the surplus population of cats.

                After some time and three baths in tomato juice, Peppy was somewhat tolerable (unless he licked himself thereby rejuvenating his original stench).  Having no money for entertainment at the time, we began to enjoy having Peppy around and began to refer to him affectionately as our scratch and sniff kitty.  After a year of intense bonding with our furry little first born, Tammy began wheezing and coughing all night long for no apparent reason.  After extensive allergy testing and $300.00 later she realized that here only allergy was to their darling Peppy.  Being of little mind and even less gumption, Tammy continued to tolerate the Peppy situation for four more years at which time they found it easier to move then to fumigate the house.

                Peppy’s next home, on Magnolia Drive, was a considerable step up for him as well as his owners.  Peppy’s hopes of making it to the big time were soon dashed for good however.  For he found himself left out in the cold once more when he was banished to the garage.  A couple of years later, Peppy’s self esteem truly plummeted when he was forced to welcome a brother.  It was a bitter pill indeed, for you see my friends (I mean, dear reader), this boy was unfairly allowed to reside within the home.  Peppy’s ego never recovered from this blow and soon after, in his weakened state, he succumbed to feline leukemia (or we’re fairly certain he would have, had we not taken him to Dr. Kevorkian along with a note that read simply, “Tell him to go toward the light”).

                Moved beyond words by our experiences with Peppy and guilt-ridden over his bitter end.  We have recently established the Peppy L’Pew Relief Fund for felines in trouble.  We hope that in the midst of this holiday season, your hearts will be softened and you will be able to honestly ask yourselves this question:

“Can I spare a few for the likes of L’Pew?”

Warmest wishes for a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous New Year!

Affectionately,

The Olivers – Jay, Tammy, Landon and RoseMeredith

A Christmas Memo From the Shepherds

TO:  Christians

FROM:  Shepherds

RE:  The search for a perfect Christmas

We’ve been watching from a distance through the mists of earthly time.

We have witnessed every Christmas as the centuries unwind.

And it seems to us poor shepherds that each year brings more to do,

With more to see and more to hear and more to buy.  It’s true.

This search for the perfect Christmas, we do not understand,

For things were far from perfect that first night in Bethlehem.

So turn the lights off.  Stop the music.  Put your credit cards away,

And let us Shepherds clue you in on how it was that day.

He did not come in glory.  There were no fireworks in the sky-

Just a star to mark the entrance of an infant in the night.

His mother was not kneeling; she was lying in the straw

And her face was wan and weary from the effort of it all.

But we sensed, beyond her weariness, a quiet, solemn joy.

We could see that she adored him, her precious, newborn boy.

They say that angels filled the sky and sang there in the dark,

But we never saw them with our eyes.  Their song was in our hearts.

A deaf man could have heard that song, a blind man seen that light.

No mortal words could dare define what happened there that night.

Now centuries have come and gone and multiplied the star

Into a million Christmas lights that twinkle near and far.

As music fills the silent night and shoppers fill the malls;

And carolers bellow “All is bright!” and price tags deck the halls;

Do not forget that all these lights were once a single star,

And that angels beckoned working men to come, come as you are!

As you reach out to those you love with presents wrapped in gold,

Remember that the first small gift was wrapped in swaddling clothes.

The Christ child did not stay within the boundaries of his birth.

No human ties could bind him to a single spot on earth.

You pass him in your crowded streets.  You pass him in your malls.

You pass him in your haste to trim the trees and deck the halls.

He always travels lightly.  He never wears a crown.

If you seek the perfect Christmas, then just stop and look around.

The spirit you are seeking does not lie within a manger.

He rose! And walks among you in the shape of every stranger.

-Tamra Oliver and Karen Muensterman

St. Anthony Messenger